Equality in Relationships

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Negotiation & Fairness

  • Seek mutually satisfying resolutions to conflict
  • Accept change
  • Be willing to compromise
Non-Threatening Behavior

  • Talk and act so your partner feels safe and comfortable expressing thoughts and doing things.
Respect

  • Listen non-judgmentally
  • Be emotionally affirming and understanding
  • Value your partner’s opinions
Trust & Support

  • Support your partner’s life goals
  • Respect your partner’s right to have independent feelings, friends, activities and opinions
Honesty

  • Accept responsibility for yourself
  • Acknowledge past use of violence
  • Admit to being wrong
  • Communicate openly and truthfully
Parenting Responsibly

  • Share parental responsibilities
  • Be a positive, nonviolent role model for children
Shared Responsibility

  • Mutually agree on a fair distribution of work
  • Make family decisions together
Economic Partnership

  • Make money decisions together
  • Make sure both partners benefit from financial arrangements

Power and Control

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Coercion & Threats

  • Making and/or carrying out threats to hurt her
  • Threaten to leave her, commit suicide or report her to welfare
  • Make her drop charges
  • Make her do illegal things
Intimidation

  • Make her afraid by using looks, actions and gestures
  • Destroy her property
  • Display Weapons
  • Abuse pets
  • Smash things
Emotional Abuse

  • Make her feel bad about herself
  • Make her think she’s crazy
  • ake her feel guilty or humiliated
  • Play mind games
Isolation

  • Control what she does, who she sees and talks to, what she reads and where she goes
  • Limit her outside involvement
  • Use jealousy to justify actions
Blaming, Denying & Minimizing

  • Say she caused it
  • Shift responsibility for abusive behavior
  • Make light of abuse
  • Say abuse didn’t happen
Using Children

  • Threaten to take children
  • Use visitations to harrass her
  • Use children to relay messages
  • Make her feel guilty about the children
Economic Abuse

  • Not let her know about or have access to money
  • Prevent her from getting and keeping a job
  • Take her money
  • Give her an allowance
  • Make her ask for money
Male Priviledge

  • Treat her like a servant
  • Make all the big decisions
  • Act like the “master of the castle”
  • Be the one to define men and women’s roles