Nurturing Children
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Trust and Respect
- Acknowledge children’s right to have own feelings, friends, activities and opinions.
- Promote independence
- Allow for privacy
- Respect feelings for other parent
- Believe in your kids
Provide Emotional Security
- Talk and act so that children feel safe and comfortable expressing themselves
- Be gentle
- Be dependable
Provide Physical Security
- Provide food, shelter and clothing
- Teach personal hygene and nutrition
- Monitor safety
- Maintain a family routine
Care for Yourself
- Give yourself personal time
- Keep yourself healthy
- Accept love
Give Affection
- Talk and act so that children feel safe and comfortable expressing themselves
- Be gentle
- Be dependable
Encourage
- Be affirming
- Encourage children to follow their interests
- Let children disagree with you
- Recognize Improvement
- Teach new skills
- Let them mess up
Give Time
- Participate in your childrens’ lives through activities, school, sports, special events and days, celebrations and friends
- Include your children in your activities
- Reveal who you are to your children
Provide Discipline
- Be consistent
- Ensure rules are appropriate to age and development of the child
- Be clear about limitations and expectations
- Use discipline to instruct
Abuse of Children
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Intimidation
- Instilling fear through looks, actions, gestures, property destruction
- Using adult size
- Being violent to others, especially pets or other parent
Using Institutions
- Threatening punishment through God, courts, police, public schools, juvenile detention, foster homes, relatives, psych wards
Isolation
- Controlling access to peers/adults, siblings, other parent and grandparents
Emotional Abuse
- Put downs, name calling
- Using children as confidants
- Using children to get or give information to other parent
- Being inconsistent
- Shaming
Economic Abuse
- Witholding basic needs, using money to control behavior
- Squandering family money
- Witholding child support
- Using children as economic bargaining chips in a divorce
Threats
- Threatening abandonment, suicide, physical harm, confinement or harm to other loved ones
Using Adult Priviledge
- Treating children as servants
- Punishing, bossing, always winning
- Denying input in visitation or custody decisions
- Interrupting